I find Weird Al’s “White and Nerdy” really really funny. It also got me wondering how I stack up, on the nerd scale. So, with no further ado, here is how I score (challengers welcome). Oh – if I agree in spirit with a line, I count it. I’ll explain as I go along.

You see me mowin’ my front lawn  
I know they’re all thinkin’ I’m so        
White and nerdy                             
(neutral – I do mow, but most people do. I *do* mow a bocce court in my front yard – that must count for something)

 Think I’m just too white and nerdy
………….

 First in my class here at MIT
(nope – went to Middlebury, and was most definitely not first in the class)
Got skills, I’m a champion at D&D
(and “Traveler” and “Villains & Vigilantes” and “Runequest” and “Heroes Unlimited” and “Dr. Who” and “Gamma World” and “Dragonquest” and “James Bond” and ….)
M.C. Escher, that’s my favorite M.C.
(sing it, white boy! M.C. rocks!)
Keep your 40, I’ll just have an Earl Grey tea
(Bleh – tea. I prefer hot chocolate)
My rims never spin, to the contrary
You’ll find that they’re quite stationary
(True – my first car was missing hub caps)
All of my action figures are cherry
(Nope, but my comics are in plastic sleeves and boxes)
Stephen Hawking’s in my library
(Nope, but James Burke is)

My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
(Nope – I stick to Xanga and a little Facebook)
Got people beggin’ for my top eight spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
(I know pi to 9 places AND have a math team chant about pi and e)
 Ain’t got no grills but I still wear braces
(My teeth are crooked)
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
(Bleh. Mayo. Bleh.)
I’m a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
(Nope – I have played it, but find it fairly boring)
Once you’ve see my sweet moves, you’re gonna stay amazed
My fingers movin’ so fast I’ll set the place ablaze
(I’m a mean 5-finger typist – 3 fingers on the right and 2 on the left)

There’s no killer app I haven’t run (run)
(My job lets me play with lots of programs)
At Pascal, well I’m number one (one)
(I took one semester of Pascal in college, and fiddled with BASIC in high school)
Do vector calculus just for fun
(3 semesters of college calculus)
I ain’t got a gat, but I got a soldering gun (what?)
(Nope)
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
(Nah – I like the themes from Quantum Leap and Firefly)
 I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
(Nope – I like it, but I am not good at it)
I’ll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
(Bring it on!)
I’m fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon
(Nah…)

Here’s the part I sing on…

You see me roll on my Segway
(Nope – but I’d like to try one)
I know in my heart they think I’m
White and nerdy

I been browsin’, inspectin’ X-Men comics
You know I collect ’em
(Oh YES – who did NOT collect “X-Men”?)
The pens in my pocket, I must protect them
(Nope)
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
(Nope)
Shoppin’ online for deals on some writable media
(I buy online, but I usually buy media from a store)
I edit Wikipedia
(Nope, but I use it)
I memorized Holy Grail really well
(Who hasn’t?)
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L

 I got a business doing websites (websites)
(I maintain my church’s site, but it is very basic)
When my friends need some code, who do they call?
I do HTML for ’em all
(I don’t know HTML)
Even made a homepage for my dog, yo
I got myself a fanny pack
(no)
They were havin’ a sale down at The Gap
(no)
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
(I like bubble wrap in a platonic sort of way)
Pop, pop – hope no one sees me gettin’ freaky

I’m nerdy in the extreme
Whiter than sour cream
I was in AV club and glee club
(no)
And even the chess team
(no)
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was “Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?”
(Kirk)
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire
(I like Faires)

Got my name on my underwear
(no)
They see me strollin’, they’re laughin’
And rollin’ their eyes cause I’m so
White and nerdy

I wanna bowl with the gangstas
(I do like to bowl – I prefer candlepin)
But oh well, it’s obvious I’m
White and nerdy

Anyway, I count about 14 or so out of a possible 40 or so. So, I guess I’m cooler than I thought!