I am a spendthrift. I never see why I should save a penny when I could spend it. Every time I try to save money, it either backfires and makes me mad, or the fates conspire to make me spend more money.

Saturday was a beautiful day. I was working outside cleaning up sticks and branches. Mer had a chance to go to a musical with Aunt Mary (Thoroughly Modern Millie, I think), so I decided I was going to paint the porch railing.

Almost two years ago, I noticed the porch was peeling. I had two painters out to do some work on our library, so I asked them to paint the porch. They primed it, but did not finish it (because I did not have the paint). Anyway, for the best part of two years our porch was white primer and greenish-blue paint. I decided the time had come to change that.

I got in my car and tooled off to Hartville Hardware to get some paint. Hartville is about 20 minutes away, but it was a nice day, so I did not mind the drive. I looked over the color samples in the store, and found the color that the porch was. I had them mix up a gallon of it. I smiled to myself at the sign behind the counter that read “No husband is allowed to buy custom color paint without a note from his wife.” Pretty funny, I thought.

While I was waiting, I looked around at paint supplies. I asked about compressor attachments so I could spray the paint on, but found out my compressor would not work – it was too small. The store recommended an “airless” sprayer – an electric pump paint sprayer. I looked at two models. There was the $85 version that looked okay, but the sales guy did not know much about it, and the $180 version that everyone raved about. I thought long and hard about it, and I decided I could paint the porch with a paintbrush, and Mer would be proud of me for saving money (something I do not do much). I passed on the sprayers; I got my paint brush, and my gallon of paint, and I went home.

When I got home, I put the paint can and brush on the porch. I went and got the CD player and a Dougie Maclean CD to listen to. Then I went to get a ladder so I could reach the top of the railing. I discovered I did not need a full ladder, so I went to get a step stool. That would work fine. Then, I realized I would have to open the can of paint, so I went to get a screw driver. I opened the paint, and decided I needed a small container to put the paint in so I would not spill the whole gallon. I went and got a 16-oz. plastic cup. That was fine, but I could not get paint in it easily, so I went in and got a small plastic cup to scoop paint out with. Well and good. Then I needed some cardboard to keep the paint off the porch and walls as I was painting. That was not working too well, so I had to go and get rags. Finally, I was ready to paint. Imagine my surprise when I discovered my paint was a little, well, greener than our old paint. Who knew? (Mer did – she mentioned something later about “teal.”) Okay. No problem. Our house would be festive Christmas colors now. I continued to paint. Dougie kept singing. I painted. I looked at my paint job. It was not coming out as nice as I had hoped – the paint was streaking, the brush strokes were obvious, and the job was going to need a second coat. Sigh. Okay. I kept painting. Dougie kept singing. After about 20 minutes, I had done about 3/4 of one post. I realized it was going to take days to paint the porch at this rate. I had a “Eureka!” moment that sounded strangely like “screw this!” and off to Hartville I went.

There was no messing around this time – I bought the good $185 paint sprayer. I drove back home and got things set up. I found an old foam “board” (about 4 by 8) to lean against the back side of the railings as I painted them so that the paint would not go everywhere. I pulled the trigger on the ***caution-it-will-cut-your-fingers-off—3900-psi*** paint sprayer. I discovered that if you do not move your hand quickly, the paint will pile up and look like someone sneezed green paint on your railing. No problem. I fixed that with my brush. I soon got the hang of the sprayer, and all was great. The porch was sailing along. I finished the front railing in about 20 minutes, and it looked great. I went around the corner, and was looking to be done in another 20 minutes. That’s when I ran out of paint. Sigh.

I get back in the car. I drive the 20 minutes to the hardware store. No messing around this time. I had them mix up two gallons of premium $30/gallon paint. I was not going to run out this time. I drove home and kept painting. The paint kept flowing, and everything looked great. I finished the front of the rails, and then went along and did the backs and sides of the rails. Everything was great. I finished up. With 1/4 gallon of paint in the sprayer. And one unopened and unreturnable gallon of “hunter green” paint. Sigh.

I cleaned everything up (it takes about an hour to clean the sprayer out). During that time, Mer came home and was shocked and happy that I had done the porch. And not gotten her phone message that Aunt Mary had an extra ticket to the musical.

Feliz Navidad from the Christmas House.